Liar Liar Pants on Fire

First off, let me say my prayers and tears go out wholeheartedly to Chris Henry's Mother and Children. This is a horrible underserved tragedy. And I would like to add that I have ALWAYS been a fan of Chris, through the good, the bad and the ugly. He reminds me so much of my own brother and son. Both have had their fair share and then some entanglements with the wrong side of the law over stupid things. Bad choices, maybe, but neither are a bad person.  I don't believe Chris was a bad person either. Just young and foolish for a while but lately he had straightened out his life and was headed in the right direction.

Okay.. now enough of the niceties.. let's get to what this is really about. The lying  bitch we all now know as the "fiance'".  We all know from the first we heard of the "accident" that it was bad news and fishy.  Now this morning, ESPN actually gives this murdering bitch the satisfaction that anyone would entertain the notion that what she is suddenly stating is true in any way.

 

All I heard is the "Eyewitness" statement that Chris' final words were "if you drive away, I will jump off this truck and kill myself". Bitch, who in the HELL is going to believe this bullshit?? NOT me, for one.  Chris Henry might have lightened up his thuggish tendencies but there is no way in hell you can convince anyone that he turned into a sniveling, groveling pussy!!! NO WAY.  Can you say "CYA".  You know damn well that YOU are the cause of his death. I am quite sure your "eyewitness" is a family member who doesn't want to be stuck raising your 3 kids if the truth were to come out. I am sure you were fighting, I am sure he jumped on the back of the truck.. but I also sure he did NOT voluntarily jump off and commit suicide!! You stupid cunt! You drove irratically and I am sure purposely flipped him out. I hope there is a REAL eyewitness to this crime and you get what YOU deserve!

Ho's and Bitches, Bitches and Ho's and a Tiger

"I'm not a whore. I'm not a tramp. I'm not an escort. I'm not stupid or a bimbo," Uchitel insisted. "I'm very strong. I will survive this. At the same time, I'm vulnerable. I'm not here to make myself into a victim, but I want people to remember I'm human -- there's a whole other side to me. I'm caring and generous and the type of person you'd want to be friends with. People have to give me a chance."

Ok.. so a week ago, this dumb bitch swore up and down she talked to Tiger once or twice at her job and that's it. Then she hired a lawyer to sue everyone who accused her of being said whore. Well well well, boo hoo hoo, yada yada yada.... Now that all the other whores have come crawling out of the woodwork to get their fair claim to fame, suddenly she DID have an affair with Tiger but.... he LOVED her dontcha know? Clearly we all know because somehow, her PRIVATE EMAILS from Tiger have surfaced and all the gossip sites have a copy.. suddenly out of nowhere. Now HOW could this be?? She  doesn't want this publicity, yet she is making statements, posing for magazine covers and doing interviews about her affair with Tiger.

 

So here is the email and slut you can lay on under over or above him because you two assholes deserve each other. I hope your tips can support his broke toothless ass when Elin is through with him! I am going to get on Cafepress.com and create my team Elin tee now. Get it, "tee" like a shirt or Tiger's face when Elin whacked the shit out of him with his golf club...

 

Emails obtained by In Touch Weekly illustrate an ongoing relationship between Woods and Uchitel, including one from the athlete reading: ""I know it's brutal on you that you can't be with me all the time. I get it ... I finally found someone I connect with, someone I have never found like this. Not even at home. You want someone to witness your life. I want you to lay next to me, lay on me or where ever you want to lay ... Why didn't we find each other years ago. We wouldn't be having this conversation."

I will Support you, Jonathan!

(Oct. 7) - When it comes to picking out an outfit to wear to school, there's a fine line between self-expression and unnecessary distraction.

One Georgia high school has decided that one of its 16-year-old male students crossed that line, and has asked him to start dressing in a more "manly" fashion, The Atlanta Journal Constitution reports.

Jonathan Escobar had recently transferred to North Cobb High School in Kennesaw, Ga. and immediately caused quite a stir among students and staff with his penchant for wearing wigs, makeup, skinny jeans, vintage tops and women's flats.

Groups of kids gathered around him in the cafeteria, and the school's assistant principal even blamed a fight on Escobar's flamboyant attire.

On his third day at the school, during which Escobar was wearing pink wig, he approached by a school official and told that his choice was to either stop dressing in such a feminine manner or consider home-schooling.

Citing a school dress code that prohibits students from wearing clothing that may "contribute to a disruption of school functions," the school stands by its decision to confront Escobar on his outfits, The Atlanta Journal Constitution says.

Meanwhile, a student group on Facebook called "Support Jonathan" has grown to over 1,000 members. Organizers have printed bright pink T-shirts emblazoned with those words which many students plan to wear to school to show their displeasure, the paper said.

As for Escobar, he sees the school's edict as a an infringement on his creative expression.

"If I can't express myself, I won't go to school," he told the Atlanta Journal Constitution, "I want to get the message out there that because this is who I am, I can't get an education."

Okay... I couldn't find the alleged Support Jonathan group on Facebook so here is my 2 cents that you are so anxiously awaiting...

Ixnay on the Pink Wigs... I have four of our six kids in school right now and no school allows ANY not "normal" colors in the hair of any student. Jensen cannot even clip in a purple extension on football days. So I am cool with that...

NOW... here is what I am soooo NOT cool with:
over 1/2 the students in our Jr and Sr high schools, girls and boys wear the 'skinny' jeans. that is the ONLY jeans Jensen will wear and so do her guy friends. So... that is discrimination. If he cannot wear skinny jeans then either NOBODY wears skinny jeans or all GIRLS must be forced to wear dresses everyday and boys wear pants.

Also, he is wearing flats, he is not wearing david bowie go go boots with sequins and 8 inch platforms!! So... again... fair is fair.. no girls are allowed to wear Chucks or skate shoes to school. I love doc martens myself, but for argument's sake they do look "boyish" so lets ban those if you have a vagina.

As for makeup, well I am still Boy George's #1 fan even though my belief that I could turn him straight if but for just one day, has gone by the wayside so I do not have a problem with a little guyliner on this kid.  Or make a specific rule that boys don't wear makeup and girls MUST wear makeup. After all, how do I know that girls with NO makeup at our schools are not all lesbians and maybe I find that disruptive to my children!  So... get with the times or REWRITE all the school handbooks to specify what is okay for each sex. 

I am personally worried about my kids grades, not their individual styles.
I remember when Rob Wigglesworth wore shorts to school because he said it wasn't fair the girls could wear miniskirts, so why can't boys wear shorts? I was in total agreement because his shorts were down to his knees which is a lot more than I can say for the girls in miniskirts.

As someone who spent many years in Catholic school before escaping to public.. if you want to really make it ALL fair across the board, put everyone in a uniform and when the girls skirts start creeping up the thigh, do what our nuns did..... pull all girls by grade, line them up on their knees and measure each and every one, and if those skirts are more than 4" above the knee, give the slut a whack with the ruler and call her mother and demand she lets that hem down before that tramp is allowed back to school.  Do you think I am playing????? I assure you, it happened,  all the time, only this tramp was smart enough to know when they got to me, to bow my lower back and stick my ass out so the front of my skirt got miraculously longer.

Word Problems 101

Pet Bear Kills Pennsylvania WomanBy Janet DiGiacomo, CNN

(Oct. 5) -- A 37-year-old Pennsylvania woman died Sunday after being mauled by her pet black bear, authorities said.

Kelly Ann Walz was attacked when she entered the bear's cage to feed the 350-pound animal and clean its cage, according to Pennsylvania State Police. The bear lived in a 15-by-15-foot steel and concrete enclosure on Walz's property in Ross Township.

The bear wasn't the only unusual animal living on the property, an official with the State Game Commission told CNN affiliate WFMZ-TV. The homeowner had a permit to keep a Bengal tiger and an African lion, and the property routinely passed inspection and had no violations, he said.

Wow... word problems always threw me off as a kid, but I guess I have matured and I think I solved this one right off the bat... ready kids??

PET + BEAR = DUMBASS

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

We all know October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.  If you are in the Tristate area, please get your Pink Hair Extension from Debi @ Noodles Salon on Beechmont. Walk Ins are welcome!  For $10, you can look adorable and all proceeds go to Breast Cancer Research! I got mine today! I love it!

On October 18th, from 10-5, Noodles is doing their annual CUTATHON.  $10 haircuts and all proceeds to go the American Cancer Society! Please support these ladies and their wonderful effort to find a cure!!

Thank you!

Where's Lardo??

A month ago, we reported on Glamour's efforts to push the boundaries of accepted beauty norms with a photo shoot for its November issue featuring all plus-sized models -- in the buff.

And now, the picture we've all been waiting for: seven plus-size knockouts -- Crystal Renn, Lizzie Miller, Amy Lemons, Ashley Graham, Kate Dillon, Anansa Sims and Jennie Runk -- all showing off what their mamas gave them.

In the article accompanying the photograph (and yes, all the models actually ate the catered food at the shoot!), Glamour writer Genevieve Field discusses the fashion industry's obsession with weight, explaining that any model over a size 6 is often considered plus-size because she's too big for the designer samples that typically run from a size 0-4.

What's wrong with this picture??? hmmm... wait.... by George, I think I've got it!!

 

NOBODY in it is plus sized!!!!! Why is it that PLUS SIZE in the "real" world is a size 16 and up but in the "unreal" world of modeling, it's probably a size 6??? I would be thrilled to look like any of these gorgeous women and would not hesitate to put the smack down on anyone that called me fat!

I got it from my Mama... err make that Papa

It has taken me 24 hours to re-hinge my jaw and I am still (gasp!) at a loss for words on this one.

What would normally constitute an immediate WTF reaction, has left me completely befuddled because we already KNOW what got F*cked!

 

Mackenzie, if you were molested by your Father and it took all these years for you to come to terms enough to cleanse yourself by letting the world know about it, then I would say awww poor thing, now we know why she had such a screwed up life! But you willingly and consentually boffed your own Dad for 10 years as an adult!!! Many years after your troubles began!  The ONLY reason you could possibly want to broadcast this to the entire world at this juncture in your pathetic life as a pock marked crack whore, is to get MONEY and your last 2 minutes of fame you may feel robbed of after being fired from One Day at a Time for being an aforementioned pathetic pock marked crack whore!

 

Damn girl!! I certainly hope you are NOT getting the attention you are craving at this time! You are a disgusting disgrace!! It makes no difference to me whether it's true or a pile of shit, because just knowing you could speak of such a sick and demented relationship of this nature proves you are the same worthless waste of space you have been for the past 30 years! I used to wish you were MY big sister when I watched your show and was too young to know anything about your drugs and getting fired when it happened.

 

Poor Chyna and Michelle, now you have dragged them into this sordid tale and out of what I can only assume are normal, healthy lives since TMZ has never informed us otherwise!

 

Of all people, Oprah should be ashamed of trying to gain sympathy for you!! What is there to sympathize with?? A GROWNASS WOMAN had sex with her dad for TEN years?? I am feeling something, but certainly not pity!

Balls to the Wall

I am no fan of the Williams sisters, not because I personally don't like them, I just think tennis is boring and I have no interest.

However, I do find this story quite amusing because for the past 2 weeks, Russell Simmons, @unclerush on Twitter, has tweeted many many times on how much he LOVES Serena. How she is this classy woman, intelligent, so well spoken that we must ALL read her blogs and find a new respect for her and all her passion and goodwill.  I didn't read the blogs, because like I said before, I have no interest whatsoever in anything she has to say... UNLESS...... she is saying "I want to shove this fucking ball down your throat"  That is classic stuff! THAT is reality folks!

It's funny because I have yet to see any tweets from @unclerush today about what a classy lady she is!!

Foo Foo and the Poo Poo

Funny, when bunny comes out to get some exercise and leaves a little present on the floor, Kasey says "eewwwwww poop" and wouldn't think of touching it. But when brother Jamey comes into the room she says "Mamey, hey Mame, look...shocklate"!!

Do I Read/Watch too much True Crime?

We were in line at the grocery this afternoon and a man with a bandaged foot and crutches comes up and asks Chuck, "is that your daughter"?  He was referring to Kasey, sitting in the cart. Chuck replies, "Yes" and the man goes on about what a beautiful child she is and how he is married but never had kids but has nieces and nephews and we are lucky and then he smiles and says "see ya'll at church Sunday...after your Friday night".

 

Well I am creeped out at this point and just turned back to my business at hand.  Then I start feeling guilty because maybe he is just a nice guy trying to be friendly. Now I really feel like shit...until we were walking out and he was in front of us and his cashier called him back because he FORGOT HIS CRUTCHES!!

 

Chuck mumbled "hmmm he's not so hurt now" and I felt better about my original gut feeling that he was a TED BUNDY wannabe! I just wanted to get the heck outta dodge and don't think I wasn't using my mom eyes in the back of my head to make sure he wasn't watching or following us! I even took a ridiculous roundabout drive home!!!

That's My Girl!!

Obviously Kasey will not follow in Corey's sports fanatic footsteps! I hear ya sister! ...SNOOZEVILLE...Take it from mommy.. all you need to know is WAYNE GRETZKY!!! That's all I got & he will always win you the sports pie in Trivial Pursuit!

I am Toddler Hear Me Roar

Dear Jamey,

You should have learned a lesson from Mommy's previous post about messing with me. What makes you think I will not treat you with equal retaliation as Jensen and Corey?

I have waited very patiently all these months that you have kept me locked out of your room and this morning, you literally left the door of opportunity wide open so I lept at the chance to rip off my diaper and pee on your floor!  I did not foresee you slipping in it, which made my revenge all the sweeter, big brother.

 

Love,

Kasey

 

Ps...if u tell on me, I will deny it because after all, does this look like the face of an evil scheming baby that would purposely urinate on someone's floor?

I'm All In Bitches!

So, big Texas Hold 'Em tourney coming up in 2 weeks at my bff's.

 

Family game, $5 buy in so being the wonderful
parents we are, we are teaching 13 yr old Jensen how to gamble on cards.

 

As she was playing practice 5 card draw with Chuck this morning, Kasey wanted in so they gave her the jokers to play with and I kept hearing her shout out TWO FIVE TWO FIVE...

 

I think I need to take an extra $5 to the game!

 

THE FAMILY THAT GAMBLES

TOGETHER, FILES BANKRUPTCY

TOGETHER!

THROW THE DOG A BONE!

Poor Michael Vick... had he molested young boys instead of abusing dogs, the world would be his oyster!

Shame, he is a great player and nobody is offering him a job. Come to Cincy, Mike! We gave Chris Henry a second chance! You and Chad would be unstoppable!

STEVE MCNAIR

So c'mon now... let's be realistic here..

Tell me what part of 36 year old MARRIED man with a 20 year old FEMALE "friend" led you to expect a happy ending???

 

I have only 3 words for this one.... 
KARMA  
KARMA  
KARMA

Of Beer and Boobies

Ahhh.. from the mouths of babes...

 

Darling stepdaughter says "hey kim did you know you can get bigger boobs by drinking beer? There is an ingredient in beer that is in breast enlarging pills"

 

"What did you say Chels? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my beer bottle top popping off"

 

Don't have to tell me twice..

 

CHEERS BITCHES!!

Thank the Tmobile gods for unlimited text

11,000 Text Messages last month.. Yes you read that right folks
E L E V E N T H O U S A N D!!! Can you guess from which of my offspring?? If you guess my 13 year old daughter, you are correct!!! Unbelievable!!!! She will be suffering from Carpal Tunnel before high school at this rate!!

 

And don't think as a mom I don't check her cell phone and this is what I find whether it's in the inbox or outbox...

 

Hey
Hey
What's up
Nothin'
Oh
Hey
Hi
Hey
I am bored
Me too
Hey

and you see the pattern here....

POOPS.. I did it again

So apparently Kasey is sick of Corey and Jensen slamming the bedroom door in her face and not letting her in, so when she saw a window of opportunity the other evening, she jumped on it.. or should I say dumped on it???

 

They were outside playing baseball and had left the bedroom door open, Kasey was fresh out of the bath and did not have a diaper on yet so she saw that door open and bolted in there and while in there, she was laughing and babbling to herself and laughing some more. I said "what are you doing in there" and she came out, got her pjs on and went right to bed. About 30 mins later, the other kids come in and Jensen screams, "MOOOOM what is on our floor" I said "I don't know" then remembered Kasey and went in and found a lovely puddle on the floor right in front of the tv with some little presents scattered inside!! I guess that was her payback to them!! I am SURE she did that on purpose!!!!