I'm All In Bitches!

So, big Texas Hold 'Em tourney coming up in 2 weeks at my bff's.

 

Family game, $5 buy in so being the wonderful
parents we are, we are teaching 13 yr old Jensen how to gamble on cards.

 

As she was playing practice 5 card draw with Chuck this morning, Kasey wanted in so they gave her the jokers to play with and I kept hearing her shout out TWO FIVE TWO FIVE...

 

I think I need to take an extra $5 to the game!

 

THE FAMILY THAT GAMBLES

TOGETHER, FILES BANKRUPTCY

TOGETHER!

THROW THE DOG A BONE!

Poor Michael Vick... had he molested young boys instead of abusing dogs, the world would be his oyster!

Shame, he is a great player and nobody is offering him a job. Come to Cincy, Mike! We gave Chris Henry a second chance! You and Chad would be unstoppable!

STEVE MCNAIR

So c'mon now... let's be realistic here..

Tell me what part of 36 year old MARRIED man with a 20 year old FEMALE "friend" led you to expect a happy ending???

 

I have only 3 words for this one.... 
KARMA  
KARMA  
KARMA

Of Beer and Boobies

Ahhh.. from the mouths of babes...

 

Darling stepdaughter says "hey kim did you know you can get bigger boobs by drinking beer? There is an ingredient in beer that is in breast enlarging pills"

 

"What did you say Chels? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my beer bottle top popping off"

 

Don't have to tell me twice..

 

CHEERS BITCHES!!

Thank the Tmobile gods for unlimited text

11,000 Text Messages last month.. Yes you read that right folks
E L E V E N T H O U S A N D!!! Can you guess from which of my offspring?? If you guess my 13 year old daughter, you are correct!!! Unbelievable!!!! She will be suffering from Carpal Tunnel before high school at this rate!!

 

And don't think as a mom I don't check her cell phone and this is what I find whether it's in the inbox or outbox...

 

Hey
Hey
What's up
Nothin'
Oh
Hey
Hi
Hey
I am bored
Me too
Hey

and you see the pattern here....

POOPS.. I did it again

So apparently Kasey is sick of Corey and Jensen slamming the bedroom door in her face and not letting her in, so when she saw a window of opportunity the other evening, she jumped on it.. or should I say dumped on it???

 

They were outside playing baseball and had left the bedroom door open, Kasey was fresh out of the bath and did not have a diaper on yet so she saw that door open and bolted in there and while in there, she was laughing and babbling to herself and laughing some more. I said "what are you doing in there" and she came out, got her pjs on and went right to bed. About 30 mins later, the other kids come in and Jensen screams, "MOOOOM what is on our floor" I said "I don't know" then remembered Kasey and went in and found a lovely puddle on the floor right in front of the tv with some little presents scattered inside!! I guess that was her payback to them!! I am SURE she did that on purpose!!!!

Gimme a G.. G! Gimme an O...O!

Next up, we have Jensen bringing home TWO prizes this week!

Her Cheer squad took 1st place at Competition and then she won Best Costume at a Halloween party! Not just ANY Halloween party mind you, it was THE party of the year (for as much as 7th graders know about parties!)

So.. props to my homegirl!!!