Do I Read/Watch too much True Crime?

We were in line at the grocery this afternoon and a man with a bandaged foot and crutches comes up and asks Chuck, "is that your daughter"?  He was referring to Kasey, sitting in the cart. Chuck replies, "Yes" and the man goes on about what a beautiful child she is and how he is married but never had kids but has nieces and nephews and we are lucky and then he smiles and says "see ya'll at church Sunday...after your Friday night".

 

Well I am creeped out at this point and just turned back to my business at hand.  Then I start feeling guilty because maybe he is just a nice guy trying to be friendly. Now I really feel like shit...until we were walking out and he was in front of us and his cashier called him back because he FORGOT HIS CRUTCHES!!

 

Chuck mumbled "hmmm he's not so hurt now" and I felt better about my original gut feeling that he was a TED BUNDY wannabe! I just wanted to get the heck outta dodge and don't think I wasn't using my mom eyes in the back of my head to make sure he wasn't watching or following us! I even took a ridiculous roundabout drive home!!!

That's My Girl!!

Obviously Kasey will not follow in Corey's sports fanatic footsteps! I hear ya sister! ...SNOOZEVILLE...Take it from mommy.. all you need to know is WAYNE GRETZKY!!! That's all I got & he will always win you the sports pie in Trivial Pursuit!

I am Toddler Hear Me Roar

Dear Jamey,

You should have learned a lesson from Mommy's previous post about messing with me. What makes you think I will not treat you with equal retaliation as Jensen and Corey?

I have waited very patiently all these months that you have kept me locked out of your room and this morning, you literally left the door of opportunity wide open so I lept at the chance to rip off my diaper and pee on your floor!  I did not foresee you slipping in it, which made my revenge all the sweeter, big brother.

 

Love,

Kasey

 

Ps...if u tell on me, I will deny it because after all, does this look like the face of an evil scheming baby that would purposely urinate on someone's floor?

I'm All In Bitches!

So, big Texas Hold 'Em tourney coming up in 2 weeks at my bff's.

 

Family game, $5 buy in so being the wonderful
parents we are, we are teaching 13 yr old Jensen how to gamble on cards.

 

As she was playing practice 5 card draw with Chuck this morning, Kasey wanted in so they gave her the jokers to play with and I kept hearing her shout out TWO FIVE TWO FIVE...

 

I think I need to take an extra $5 to the game!

 

THE FAMILY THAT GAMBLES

TOGETHER, FILES BANKRUPTCY

TOGETHER!

THROW THE DOG A BONE!

Poor Michael Vick... had he molested young boys instead of abusing dogs, the world would be his oyster!

Shame, he is a great player and nobody is offering him a job. Come to Cincy, Mike! We gave Chris Henry a second chance! You and Chad would be unstoppable!

STEVE MCNAIR

So c'mon now... let's be realistic here..

Tell me what part of 36 year old MARRIED man with a 20 year old FEMALE "friend" led you to expect a happy ending???

 

I have only 3 words for this one.... 
KARMA  
KARMA  
KARMA

Of Beer and Boobies

Ahhh.. from the mouths of babes...

 

Darling stepdaughter says "hey kim did you know you can get bigger boobs by drinking beer? There is an ingredient in beer that is in breast enlarging pills"

 

"What did you say Chels? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my beer bottle top popping off"

 

Don't have to tell me twice..

 

CHEERS BITCHES!!